


Somewhere in time

by CaptainLeigh



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLeigh/pseuds/CaptainLeigh
Summary: A look inside the mind of one Carmilla Karnstein throughout key moments of season one. In particular those thoughts relating to one Elle Sheridan and the feelings that Laura Hollis has begun to stir in the vampires heart.
Relationships: Carmilla Karnstein/Elle Sheridan, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Kudos: 6





	Somewhere in time

**Author's Note:**

> So after listening to a lot of Kamelot lately the idea for for this fic emerged while listening to their song The Haunting (Somewhere in time). It just seemed to fit so well for Carmilla and Elle and so i'd certainly encourage all to go and give it a listen!
> 
> Disclaimer: While the idea for this fic is mine the characters and the wonderful music of Kamelot certainly are not.

_Merely the sound of your voice_

_Made me believe that, that you were her_

_Just like the river disturbs_

_My inner peace_  
  
_Once I believed I could find_

_Just a trace of her beloved soul_

_Once I believed she was all_

_Then she smothered my beliefs_

  
To say that Carmilla had been caught off guard was beyond an understatement. She knew that her mother was cruel, it was the one constant in her life, but this was a whole new level. As soon as she had stepped into that dorm room and her new roommate had turned to face her it struck her again with sickening clarity that her ordeal would never be over. Elle… The name has almost fallen from her lips before she had managed to catch herself. Instead she managed a soft “Hey”.  
  


“um excuse me but who the hell are you?”  
  


That voice… It took every ounce of self-control that Carmilla possessed not to run to her to hold her in her arms and tell her just how much she had missed her or, better yet to flee the scene entirely. Thankfully her body seemed on autopilot and instead she found herself throwing her bag onto the nearby bed and replying smoothly.  
  


“Carmilla I’m your new roommate sweetheart”.

  
  
This did not seem to go down well. The human had practically leapt from her seat in a tiny ball of rage declaring that she already had a roommate and that Carmilla needed to leave as this was obviously some form of mistake. For her part the vampire had stopped really paying attention to what she was saying instead again fighting the urge to close the distance between them. She guessed that despite her internal battle she must have at least been responding to the girl as her rage kept building and she had yet to just shut up. Carmilla just hoped that she hadn’t said anything too scathing to the adorable woman in front of her. She was meant to be keeping an eye on her after all and that tended to work better if the target could stand to be around her. The bickering didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon and hit a new high as Carmilla started clearing space on her new bed.

“Stop that those are not yours!” Laura, mother had at least told her the girls name, grabbed the shirt that she had been holding.

  
  
“Well they’re in my half room cutie and possession is nine tenths”. She couldn’t help snapping as her patience was now officially wearing thin with this pointless debate.

Carmilla grabbed it back then proceeded to drown out any further responses and simply curled up on the half-cleared bed. Cutie? She silently judged herself for that one but in all fairness, it was probably better than accidently calling her Elle… Carmilla wasn’t a fool she knew it wasn’t her and upon closer reflection the two were far from identical, but the resemblance was there and it was enough for every guilty feeling she had thought she had managed to repress to suddenly be unleashed.

_Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again_

_Like the wind sweeps the earth_

_Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend_

_You've fallen deep_

_I was a liar in every debate_

_I rule the forces that fuelled your hate_

_When the cold in my heart leaves, it comes to an end_

_Quietly now go to sleep  
  
  
_

The next few days were hell. Cupcake, Carmilla still refused to use her actual name, seemed to hate the fact that her new roommate existed. With a wry smile the vampire added that to the similarity’s column of the mental list she had been compiling. Of course, it didn’t help that Carmilla fuelled this passionate dislike as much as she possibly could and as often as she could in increasingly over the top ways. I mean seriously who the hell gets all hot and heavy in their roommates’ bed when their own is within arm’s length? But she found that she couldn’t help it she needed the other girl to hate her.

She had to hate her, Elle had hated her… and honestly the alternative was far more painful still.

  
  
As if in warning against any thoughts of affection for her new roommate a new memory rose to the surface. Darkness absolute and stifling and with it the scent of blood overpowering all her other senses. She was back inside her coffin. It wasn’t even the fact that she couldn’t move trapped as she was in this tiny prison that was the worst part of the ordeal. No that honour was reserved for the fact that every now and again when Carmilla made the mistake of allowing her mouth to open even just a little, the taste of the blood would hit her in a tidal wave of flavours and within it was a taste she would never forget. Elle. In those moments she would find herself choking first upon the taste of her former lover and then upon her own tears. The fact that she still did not know what cruel fate had befallen her love made her insides twist with shame.

The panic rose within her making everything blurry. It all became too much as the vampire slid onto the floor. It had been Laura who had found her and tried to comfort her not understanding what had brought on this display from her usually stoic and brooding roommate. For Carmilla this had only made things worse.

_How could that first time recur_

_When memories linger on and on_

_What made me think you were her_

_Elena is dead to all_

_Dead to all  
  
Nothing can bring her to life_

_Don't pretend that I'll be loving you_

_Once I believed she was gone_

_I corrupted from within_

_Leave me for now and forever_

_Leave while you can_

_  
_ Okay she was pissed. After finally swallowing her pride Carmilla had reasoned that there was just no point fighting it anymore. She was attracted to the creampuff and quite honestly, she was getting tired of acting like a petulant child around her. She had even tried to be nice. This had resulted in the younger girl inviting her to a party with her and dare she say it the vampire had actually been pleasantly surprised by the invitation. She had even entertained the idea that maybe something more could come from the evening… and now she was tied to a chair. The duplicitous little cupcake had lured her into an ambush. She had been so surprised at this turn of events that the toddlers had actually managed to capture her. This was not only embarrassing but she was sure her mother was going to be pissed at her. Oh, and the starvation thing wasn’t exactly a cakewalk either.  
  
  


All of that ridiculousness aside the worst part of it all was that without any form of distraction her mind was forced back to things she would much rather forget. Elle’s face haunted her. Her hair that perfect shade between blonde and brunette, her smile that could light up the room and erase the darkness within the vampire’s heart and then there were her eyes. Her soft blue eyes that Carmilla could get lost in forever, their twinkling warmth whenever she made her laugh, the way her desire shone clearly through whenever their kisses became heated. More painfully the way they had hardened and filled with hatred when her lover’s true nature had finally been revealed. How could she have thought to finally put these feelings to rest for the affections of a foolish college girl?

Laura was not Elle she could never hold a candle to her.  
  
…and yet.

  
  
_Follow me into the light_

_Like ice on a lake of tears_

_I'll take you through_

_Or leave me tonight_

_I've gone too far to begin all anew_

_With someone like you_

_  
  
_

_  
_ There was no denying it now as Carmilla stood between her mother and Laura holding the sword of Hastur in open defiance; she cared for the cupcake and she would gladly give her life if it meant that she would live. She struck her mother with the hilt of the sword sending the dean careening into the pit below and that’s when she saw her, Elle.

There was no mistaking the woman that had not left Carmilla’s mind for the last century and a half. She reached for her fully aware of the tears streaming down her face. The ghost of Elle smiled at her as she looked between the vampire and Laura and gave a small nod. It was barely noticeable but Carmilla understood the meaning as clearly as if she had shouted. Elle was not angry about her and Laura. She had her blessing. Despite not needing the air Carmilla took a deep breath feeling at least some of the guilt she had been carrying with her leave as she exhaled.  
  
  


She was suddenly aware of the sounds of the fighting going on around her. The battle was far from over. A quick glance around the cavern showed that the ginger squad were somewhat wounded but were still holding their own remarkably well. The Summer and Zeta forces likewise were a force to be reckoned with, it looked like they might actually make it out of this alive. A rumble from the cavern below quickly caught her attention as the light seemed to increase in intensity. But of course, the beast still needed to be slain. Carmilla closed her eyes for a brief moment to compose herself focussing on nothing but the weight of the sword in her hand and what she knew she had to do. She would even the score for Elle and she would save Laura even if it cost her life, she owed the women she loved that much. Loved? … huh…She took one last look at the cupcake.

“you know I really hate this heroic vampire bullshit.”

She guessed they weren’t bad as far as last words went. Her gaze returned to Elle. _I may not have been able to save you from this fate, but I will avenge you_. She smiled as if she had heard the vampire’s thoughts. Carmilla chose not to ponder that as she ran towards the crater and jumped at the monstrosity below.

_Somewhere in time I will find you and love you again_

_Like the wind sweeps the earth_

_Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend_

_You've fallen deep_

_I was a liar in every debate_

_I rule the forces that fuelled your hate_

_When the cold in my heart leaves, it comes to an end_

_Quietly I'll go to sleep._  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Okay so admittedly in the original lyrics the name used is Helena not Elena but it just fit so well that I couldn't help myself!


End file.
